In My Heart

Life as I now know it..

2011-12-09T19:01:00.001-06:00

Well it has been awhile since I have posted..Isabel is beautiful, growing like a weed!!! She is just the most wonderful little girl ever!!! August I started feeling bad, with some aches and pains, fatigue..etc..etc..etc..To make a long story short, I have recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia..so they think....., ruling out some other things, but this is what the rheumatologist feels it is..To be honest with you it just sucks!!! I dont know if what I am going thru is the worst or the fear of the unknown!!! I have read and read other peoples stories and it is not what I want..lol..I am sure it is not what they want either..But I need positive reinforcement!!! I want to be postive..just trying to learn to cope..Life as I now know it!!! Hope all is well with everyone..Happy Holidays!!!

HOdoubleT!!!!!!

2011-07-27T11:05:00.000-05:00

We are on our 22 second day in a roll for over 100 degree temps...we have had 30 out of 33 days of over 100 here in Arkansas!!!! Been days since we have had rain!!!! Miserable!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope everyone else is doing well in their neck of the country!!! Much love, Cindy

2011-07-18T23:12:00.000-05:00

first laugh

makes music in my soul-

Baby Isabel

2011-07-10T15:24:00.005-05:00

Rainy Day Photo Shoot....By Nanny

2011-06-16T21:32:00.000-05:00

2011-06-12T18:44:00.000-05:00

As she sits in the rocking chair

she rocks with an intensity

that of course leads no where

In her utterly

state

anxiety flows through her like a muddy river

she waits

and waits

for the quaking

in her veins to cease

Nerves are as s.h.a.tt.e.r.ed
as the vintage wine bottle

that lays at her feet

Her heart soars with love and contentment

that NO words can describe

BUT

Her mind is a restless wind

which can not be contained

2011-06-05T21:12:00.001-05:00

mangled,uprooted

years of history gone-

tree dominoes

2011-05-31T18:26:00.001-05:00

the tiny foundation

of our next generation-

sweet baby feet

2011-05-18T19:52:00.001-05:00

fire in the wind

uncontrollable heat-

doused by tears

2011-05-04T16:42:00.002-05:00

in my heart
something was missing
now love overflows
into a pool
of completion
Sweet Baby-
ISABEL

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=o.50552718905

2011-05-02T18:29:00.000-05:00

Well our little Isabel had to spend 10 days in the NICU..So it has been a tough week, she had 9 different IVs ...Poor baby has been stuck way too much!!! She finally got to come home last night..She is well and beautiful and I am loving being a granny!! Devika thank you for checking on me due to the weather..Fortunately we were spared the horrible tornadoes in my area, but a lot of people have been hit and lots of lives lost!! Isabel is 11 days old today and 9 of those 11 days it has rained, we have had severe flooding in our area, even the local wal-mart flooded and was shut down for a few days..Several stormy days and today it is even cold!! It is May and I am sitting in sweats with the heater running!! But all in all life is good!!! Hope everyone is well!!! Much Love, Cindy

2011-04-21T22:41:00.000-05:00

Isabel Jade Patillo 9lbs 11oz 21 inches long April 21, 2011

Official Due Date

2011-04-17T19:15:00.000-05:00

Still waiting on the grandbaby!!!! This has been the longest month!!! It feels like she is never going to get here!! Ashley goes back to the dr on Wednesday if she doe not go into labor before then!! She is miserable!!! Hopefully by the end of the week I will have baby pics!

Update

2011-04-02T17:29:00.000-05:00

Hello Everyone!!! Sorry it has been awhile!! Hopefully I will get back to it soon..Devika, thank you so much for checking on me!!! My daughter is 2 weeks away from due date and we are all patiently awaiting the arrival of ISABEL JADE...She has a nursery at my house and a nursery at her own home and more baby items than you can possibly imagine..We just need the baby..My daughter had an ultrasound 2 weeks ago and they were estimating Isabel was already over 8lbs..they gain half a lb a week..So our little one might not be so little:) I have a picture on my phone of her chubby little hand and it makes my heart do flip flops everytime I see it..So ready to touch her!!! Life is good!!!! Hope everyone is well!!!! Much love!!!! Cindy

Snow no more!!!

2011-02-11T20:09:00.000-06:00

Well I work in special ed as you know and today was the 10th snow day. Since I came back from Christmas break, we have had 2 full weeks..I had plans to keep my grandbaby in June, so my daughter can go back to work from maternity leave in June, as of now we are up to June 10th..Northwest Arkansas received record breaking temps and snow levels, reaching -21 and over 2 feet of snow..We have had 7 inches and 0 temps...All of this is not normal for Arkansa..Normally 3 inches of snow and we think we are having a blizzard..Next week temps are suppose to reach 70s... CRAZY!!!! The one thing I have accomplished is sewing projects for baby Isabel..She will be here in 9 weeks!!! So excited...Hope everyone is well!!!!Much love, Cindy

2011-01-23T15:19:00.000-06:00

excess speed
my life
days become weeks,
weeks become months,
months turn into years etc.etc.
look back
memories so clear
then the things forgotten.....
mom??
do you remember?????
No I do not
no matter how hard I try
I don't recall
times in my life I have lost
but my children
haven't.....
not yet
45 and still trying to figure out
who I am
and what I want to be when I grow up....

2010-12-31T19:47:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year to all my blog buddies!!! May you have all your dreams come true in 2011...Much Love, Cindy

2010-12-21T14:35:00.000-06:00

Todays project , burprag and onesie with i on the butt, actually I think it will take up her whole back, I have a lot to learn :)

Nanny Gone crazy

2010-12-20T20:03:00.001-06:00

I have went baby crazy and have neglected my blog and my wonderful readers and your posts. I am off work for Christmas break so hopefully I can catch up on my reading. I hope everyone is having wonderful holidays..I painted this for baby IJ and a few other things I will post. I have learned to crochet, been making tutus and hairbows, and just got an early present from my hubby a sewing machine..So I am completely embracing my nanny to be moments!!! I know you men are just thrilled to death with all of this :) I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas..Much Love, Cindy

2010-12-02T16:45:00.001-06:00

Update on my first unborn grandbaby... Its a GIRL...and her name is Isabel Jade....I just can not wait!!!!

inhale (poetry potluck)

2010-11-22T11:11:00.002-06:00

the naked limbs

of the old oak trees

hovers over

the leaf blanket

covering my backyard

birds fluttering

around the feeder

taking on a fill

waiting on the rain to set in

i watch out the window

loving the peace

that is embracing my soul

I inhale this moment

with eyes closed

head bowed

I give Thanks

Him

for

My life

Happy Thansksgiving to All

http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2010/11/poetry-potluck-magic-miracles-wonder.html

Coming up Rainbows

2010-11-18T17:39:00.000-06:00

I asked him

what color is Minnie's dress going to be?

rainbow he replied to me

I asked him

what color is the train going to be?

rainbow he replied to me

I asked him

what colors would you like for crafts today?

I know ..rainbow is what he will say

I smile at this handsome young man

as he asks "Mrs. Brown"

what can I do?

I call his name and ask

'What would you like to do? "

Draw pictures he says to me

and I nod my head yes

I know

before I go to his desk

what I will see

his markers lined up

the way he sees

his rainbow

To myself I think

God gave him

the most wonderful gift

that in his world

everything is the color of

rainbows.....

I know most of my readers know that I work in Special Education and from time to time I write about my experiences. This young man is 15 and I do not like to play favorites but Man alive do I LOVE this kid!! He is autistic and he teaches me something everyday I am with him!! He loves to draw and everything he draws is bright colors and rainbow colors. He draws several things and some of the same things several times. Sometimes they will be so identical, if I did not know better I would swear he was tracing them off of his original. Everything he does has to be in a certain order which is common in autism, but he fascinates me so much , he is an incredibly brilliant kid that I would love to be able to see what he sees in his mind. He has fantastic parents who involve him in everything possible and I know that he gets opportunities so many special needs kids do not get and I wish they had. Children with autism sometimes have difficulty with socialization, today this child took a santa hat that was on his head , he took it off and went and put it on the male teachers head and laughed, really laughed. It was the greatest moment!! He is a gift from God to me and one of the reasons I love my job so much. I learn so much from him , a lot more than he learns from me.
Today he was my rainbow!!!!

No words dot dot dot

2010-11-14T20:19:00.000-06:00

no words come to me
as I read the many talented
and regret the education
I did not pursue...
I feel ignorance when no words come to me
and I read comments I do not understand
I write from my heart which holds so much love
and I write from my mind with its unlimited thoughts
but limited vocabulary...
no words come to me
when I have so much weighing on my soul
frustration takes over and I just sit
looking at the blank screen
waiting for the words to come to me...

2010-11-08T17:13:00.000-06:00

cool autumn night

wrapped in your arms

drinking hot cocoa

by the wood fire

watching favorite tv shows

snuggled on the couch

you

are my first and only

true love

only way

2010-11-06T21:36:00.000-05:00

written with shakey hands,
the number of the goal in mind,
no food today ...
tomorrow
small box from the freezer at
5 o'clock.....
devouring the brain cells,
lack of nutrients,
the mistake is made,
the candy bar was consumed
in 30.6 seconds....
free
     f
      a
        l
         l
           i
            n
              g
trying to grasp
at the limbs on the way down
to gain control
before the binge
begins
tooo late
screwed up this day
start again Monday....
the binge ,
     the binge ,
          the binge
lethargic, sick, stuck in the recliner
with goals melting
like ice cream in the sun....
salt swimming
to the extremities
causing wedding band
to stretch the golden limits..
to gain control
to reach the goal
food
one time a day
the only way
is one time a day...

2010-11-03T18:44:00.000-05:00

one reflection

the mirror witnesses

two faced

2010-11-02T15:41:00.002-05:00

http://cindybrownphotography.blogspot.com/ This is just for fun!!

Name Game

2010-10-31T11:55:00.001-05:00

Let me see...

nanny,mammy,granny B

mee-maw, maw-maw, mam-maw, GiGi

grandma, gramma, nana, gmaw, nonna C

oh whoever will I be ?

as you can tell I am pretty excited about this first gbaby

does anyone have any fun or different grandma names??

2010-10-30T08:38:00.002-05:00

heart overflowing

into a river of love

unborn grandbaby

2010-10-27T14:26:00.001-05:00

Through the foggy woods

David ran

deeper and deeper

itno the forest

David ran

howling sounds

and eerie screams

David ran

and ran

it was Halloween night

moon shining bright

David ran

the air turned cold

he was full of fright

David ran

Suddenly

SOMETHING

reached out

and snatched

David up

into it's

cold

hairy

arms

David fainted!!

David was never seen or heard from again!!!

Happy Halloween!!!

2010-10-25T21:39:00.003-05:00

here we meet again
i fall for you-
autumn lovers

I am Woman

2010-10-23T17:06:00.000-05:00

Louise left the front door open as she ran down the street screaming at him to stop!! She sees her shoe bounce off the back glass of his 2001 black Dodge Ram as he turns the corner. Does he not know he is dealing with a xanax taking, menopausal woman?she mutters under her breath. How friggin difficult is it to get the newspaper in the box.?

One shoe on , she limps to the corner to pick up her aging pink nike and looks around to see her nosey hateful neighbor looking at her over the top of her bifocals.She seriously thinks about giving her the finger, but thinks twice, and then goes ahead and does it anyway. Ha!Ha! take that you old bat!! and looks at the shocked looked on Mrs.Wimble's face. Smiles to herself.

Entering her house she rushes to answer the ringing phone.

Hello.....hello..... HELLOOO!!!!

This is United Grocers of the Grocery World, would you like to take our survey?

Gimme a break, like I have nothing better to do.

NO!! I would NOT like to take your survey!! I do not buy groceries I live on fast food!!!she growls and hangs up the phone.

Thelma closes her front door as she walks to pick up her newspaper off the ground. She waves and smiles at the man in the 2001 Black Dodge Ram. Silently wishing he would get the paper in the box.

She sees Mrs. Wimble glaring at her over the top of her bifocals. She is her hateful, nosey neighbor who can never mind her own business. She waves and smiles at Mrs. Wimble, who in return turns her back and walks away.

Entering her house she rushes to answer her ringing phone..

Hello...hello....Is anyone there?

This is United Grocers of the Grocery World, would you like to take our survey?

Of course she says..sighing to herself, I have nothing else better to do...

I am a Thelma on the outside, and a Louise on the inside. Somedays I am a Thelma and Louise rolled all up into one :)

still

2010-10-21T21:06:00.000-05:00

you will feel

the firestorm

that once

RAGED

through your blood,

making you

breathless

as the sound of your heart

beat like a

d r u m

you will feel the matchstrike

as the touch of your skin

unites

causing the electric

current to

travel

and

travel

making your toes curl

in complete

satisfaction

you will feel this

story

again and again

Baby Love

2010-10-17T15:29:00.000-05:00

lookin in these eyes

memories flood my soul

of your momma

so many years ago

lookin in these eyes

I see

her sweet little face

bringing precious memories to me

lookin in these eyes

I begin to smile

remembering

all awhile

the first time

I knew

true baby love

Your momma

My very first neice...

MJYUMBLedThOuGHtsStuMbmilednd

2010-10-11T22:13:00.001-05:00

On the outside of the box, she was a complete scene,
a peaceful waterfall on a beautiful sunny day,
but on the inside, the puzzle peices had been lost,
broken, the corner pieces gone, making the picture incomplete..
Her mind was jumbled with mass confusion,
thoughts twisting and untwisting like broken pretzels,
crumbs in the bottom of the bag, waiting to be thrown away..
She absorbed every emotion, every memory
as her brain soaked up all the words in her thoughts,
as her thoughts soaked up all the words in her brain..
She stumbled, she just stumbled...

,

My Bullet List

2010-10-09T15:56:00.000-05:00

only child
only grandchild
first date with hubby June 11,1982
married Sept.8, 1982
no I was not pregnant
married @ 16
married 28 yrs
first daughter at 18
she weighed 10 lbs and 7 ounces
no I did not have her naturally, was by csection
she is now 26
5ft 8
and married
and carrying my first grandbaby :) :) :)
second daughter at 21
she weighed 7lbs. and 9 1/2 ounces
she is now 23
she is 6ft.1in
yes she played basketball
I am 5 ft 4 in
I have lived in 5 homes my entire life
2 with my parents
3 with my husband
all 5 have been within 10 miles of each other
I have had 5 jobs
4 of them have been with kids
I work in Special Education
I know sign language
I have had 2 csections, 1 hysterectomy (dont think2 is possible) one foot surgery
the foot surgery sucked
need another one on the other foot
I am dragging my heels about that one
haha! that was lame I know
My hubby and I have cattle, dogs, chickens, horses, rabbits, turkeys, cat
in the past we have had a pet deer, pet raccoons, peacocks, doves, potbellied pigs,donkeys, tumbling pigeons..iquana, parakeets, quinea pigs....i am probably forgetting something
my favorite color is red
I also love pink
I drive a red mustang
I love clothes!!!
I love to shop!!!
My favorite things to do are simple
Reading....all kinds of books, but my faves are murder, murder, murder
I love movies, all types of movies, not to much into science fiction, I like suspense and murder movies the best.
I know 754 ways to kill someone without getting caught!!! haha..just joking
I love to write, mainly about love and relationships, would love to pursue some things for kids
I would like to learn to write better
I love to take pictures
I wish I had pursued a side career in photography
I also love to draw and to paint
I do not have a bit of talent in any of the above things I love to do
I am learning to crochet, making a blanket for my gbaby to be
When I turned 40... something happened to my somehwat normal brain and nothing has been the same since. Did not cope well with that number!!!
I have learned more from the kids in my special education class than I have ever learned from anyone. They teach me something new each day!! I am so fortunate that this is the path that was chosen for me.
I would love to write about the the things that are really in my head. But am scared too.
I have only been out of the country once and that was Mexico..
God has blessed me with so much that I have been so undeserving of!!!! Our God is an awesome God!!
As of today I have been alive 44 years and 364 days.....
I would love to read a bullet list about each of you :))))))

THE HAYRIDE

2010-10-06T17:12:00.002-05:00

down in the field

where the cornstalks lay

I went for a ride

on a trailer full of hay

full of fear

full of fright

silvery moon

on a cold fall night
deep in the shadows

I did see

something horrifying

looking at me

hair that is snarled

hands that are gnarled

pointed hat

big black cat

where is

the broomstick at?

I heard the screams

I heard the shout

Someone watch me

I am fixing to jump out

down in the field

where the cornstalks lay

I left my ride

on the trailer full of hay

last thing
they did see,

was that ugly old witch

chasing Me!!

lifewater

2010-09-29T19:59:00.000-05:00

she was driving the old pick up

down the long dirt road

listening to her favorite country song,

turning and crossing the cattleguard

she heard the water and ice sloshing around

in the waterjug . ....

heading out across the pasture

she spotted the cows and their calves

drinking from the vanishing pond.....

it was hot that day

triple digits

she stopped, rolled the windows down

and inhaled the warm air and the smell

of freshly cut hay....

she sat quietly, closed her eyes,

breathing in her life...

the increasing sound of the tractor

brought her back

and she saw him

sitting high

on the red Massey

sweat poured from his face

as he released the last bale of hay....

he smiled when he saw her

carrying him a drink of water...

she smiled back at her soulmate,

the father to her girls, the grandpa to be....

she smiled back at her

drink of water.....

Sinking

2010-09-27T17:47:00.001-05:00

she bared,

her soul,

for many years,

with so many words,

unheard..

she felt so,

misunderstood.....

surrounded by people

she

loved,

who loved her..

but the feeling of

loneliness

claimed her,

overtaking

her mind,

and her heart...

so many words

to say,

so many meanings

all playing,

hide and seek...

she knows

that baring her soul

is now

useless,

again...

again..

now they ask for her

to speak,

to share,

her innermost thoughts

but she refrains,

from

doing so...

there comes a time

that it is,

just

too late.....

2010-09-25T07:12:00.001-05:00

break of sunlight

she looks for answers

obscurity

2010-09-24T16:07:00.000-05:00

autumn breeze

tasting the memory-

your lips

Claim Your Award

2010-09-22T21:44:00.001-05:00

Thanks Ashley http://www.ajpatillo.blogspot.com/

1. Accept the award. Post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link.

2. Pay it forward to bloggers that you have discovered.

3. Contact those blog owners and let them know they've been chosen.

http://www.waystationone.blogspot.com/
http://www.catnip-timoteo.blogspot.com/
http://magyar-haiku.blogspot.com/
http://wordsflowandstuffl.blogspot.com/
http://talonted.blogspot.com/

2010-09-21T18:26:00.000-05:00

unreasoned passion

unrestrained craving

consuming desire

she wakens at midnight

taboo

The Kiss

2010-09-18T08:50:00.015-05:00

HE kisses her goodbye

as she leaves for work

she kisses him goodbye

as he leaves for work

going in different directions...

electrical current in the air

sparks flying

smoldering heat

eyes locked

Good Morning

how are you?

HE kisses her...

smoldering heat

sparks flying
electrical current in the air

eyes locked

Hello

how are you?

he kisses her...

Thrill of the flashing red light

2010-09-13T19:35:00.002-05:00

She sat and glared at it...

The pink rectangle...

Anticipating...Anticipating....

She turned it over...

Stop looking at it...

Give it ten minutes.....

Turn it back over...

Still no red light...

Dang it...

She took it in another room....

Now

LEAVE THE ROOM!

Go to the bathroom...

Get a Diet Coke...

Watch a little Lifetime...

Wait twenty minutes...

Stop thinking about it..

She goes back to the room..

YES!!!

Red light is flashing...

Could it be??

Types the password..

Whirls the trackball..

To the right..

Sees the name...

YES!!!

Sees the arrows ..

in the corner..

YES!!

another name..

has just appeared..

She is obsessed....

with texting..

on her..

BLACKBERRY

2010-09-11T21:39:00.001-05:00

I work in Special Education and have a few times in the past, talked about Special Olympics or have written about my experiences. Today our Area put on a Family Fun Day for the athletes and their families. I love to observe and photograph these kids and adults. They love unconditionally , they can teach you so much about yourself and love. I am always learning from them. These two are adult athletes I see at several events every year. This young lady, always tells me that this young man is her boyfriend. There is a good 20 years difference in their age. But age means nothing to them and it never fails that every time I see her she lets me know he is her boyfriend. I asked them if I could go get my camera and take their picture and they were happy to oblige. As soon as they saw I had the camera this was there instant pose, I never had to say a word. It was a wonderful day!!

Waiting

2010-09-08T22:09:00.001-05:00

Sitting in the old well house

it waited and waited

for years and years had went by

the back side was lower on one side

and some parts were missing

yet it waited and waited

there were signs of rust

and some paint was needed

for years and years had come and gone

it was in the back hidden

it waited and waited

finally the day had come

new tires made it level again

fresh new paint made it shine

all the missing pieces made it whole

it waited and waited

once it was loved by a little girl

all those years ago

but still it waited and waited

the little girl was all grown now

to big to ride

but still it waited and waited

for the little one to arrive

a few years would have to past by

but it would wait and wait

for the little one

whose mom it once belonged

to be born in April

and to wait and grow

and grow

The Little Red Tricycle

Teardrop in Her Coffee

2010-09-06T17:28:00.001-05:00

He walks into the room, eyes searching for her. She stands with her back to him, coffee in hand, so unaware of his presence.

She hears him enter the room, but does not want him to have the satisfaction that she is aware he is watching her. She feels the heat from his eyes as they bore through her to the innermost depth of her being.

He knows that if he touches her she will respond, she will come to him with open arms. He stands waiting , wanting to go to her. He wants to feel the blood flowing through her as her heart speeds with emotion and need. With each step closer, he senses that she is now aware of his presence. He smells the scent of her perfume and he stops and waits.

With each step she can feel him closing in on her, her heart begins to race, her breath quickens. She waits for the touch, wanting to turn and rush into his arms..She wants to feel the fire as she once felt from his strong and gentle hands. She waits...

He leans over and kisses her on the top of her head. He pulls her in close to him. She never lets go of the coffee cup. She never looks up at him. She just plainly says " You know you have to do the right thing " He knew he had to do the right thing and he kissed her hair one more time like she loved for him to do. Then he turned and walked out the door.

She looks down at her cup as one single teardrop drips into her coffee.......

2010-06-23T14:00:00.000-05:00

a goal in mind

willpower equals-

determination

Or does it? Is willpower stronger than determination or determination stronger than willpower? Are they the same?

2010-06-17T22:11:00.002-05:00

pool water is hot

middle of June-

Arkansas weather

2010-06-13T17:31:00.001-05:00

rain on the flowers
the sun breaks through-
cracked flower pot

2010-06-10T12:35:00.000-05:00

Nothing poetic about this!. Nothing profound! Nothing sweet!!! Life just SUCKS at the moment!! I needed somewhere to shout it and I chose here!! So I am shouting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIFE SUCKS!! Now that is a little better!

2010-06-01T23:11:00.000-05:00

happy dance
as the bell rings-
LAST DAY OF SCHOOL

from my HEART

2010-04-24T21:36:00.000-05:00

I have 2 beautiful daughters!! Ashley is 26 and Jodi is 22. I witnessed some things this weekend with my girls. Ashley and her husband Jt and I went to a Seventh Day Slumber concert Saturday night. The concert had a booth for children living in poverty overseas and Ashley signed up to help this beautiful little guy in El Salavador named Hector, she really had no idea how much that warmed her mother's heart. The compassion and love that she and her husband showed for a child that they had never met.......... My youngest daughter waivers( caretaker ) for a 10 yr old autistic child. Jodi has been taking care of her for several months now. I watched Jodi with Lynlee today. Jodi loves this little girl as much as if she were her own. The excitement I see in Jodi's face when Lynlee accomplishes something new or how I see when she lights up from Lynlee's laughter also warms my heart. The love and trust that Lynlee feels for Jodi is evident in her little face..My 2 girls making the difference in 2 children's lives in total different ways but both equally as important....... I was a very young parent, and my parenting skills were not the greatest. The one thing I did have for them was uncondtional love. My love for them is so strong and I Thank My Heavenly Father for the gift He gave me in those 2 girls. I looked at them this weekend and I decided I just might have done a few things right :)

2010-04-18T10:16:00.006-05:00

my neck

back to the place of secrecy

your lips....

my ear

warms the memory

your breath.....

I taste

the scent of your shirt

my skin.....

Oscar

2010-04-09T06:28:00.002-05:00

to my owners

I put my trust

these eyes

2010-04-02T08:44:00.000-05:00

through the darkness

with eyes closed and head bowed

20/20 vision.......

2010-03-16T12:14:00.003-05:00

http://www.ajpatillo.blogspot.com/ Check out my daughters new blog :)

2010-03-12T14:03:00.000-06:00

peace within my soul

freedom from above the clouds

I am FORGIVEN.....

2010-03-10T10:27:00.001-06:00

colors so vibrant
the future will behold
rainbow in my heart

Little Luke

2010-01-11T06:53:00.003-06:00

Little Luke sat in the corner
thinking about what he had done...
Fed Emma all of his oatmeal
and breakfast he had none...

Emma was his best friend
A special dog was she...
Emma had only 3 legs
and that you can plainly see...
Little Luke thought Emma
needed oatmeal more than he...

Little Luke told his mommy
I am sorry for what I,ve done...
I fed Emma my oatmeal
because breakfast she had none...

Little Luke's mommy
says Honey I know what we can do...
I will cook oatmeal everyday
for Emma and you too...
Because I love Emma,
and most of all I LOVE YOU!

This was my attempt at kids stuff on another blog.

2010-01-03T19:08:00.001-06:00

Hello, Hope to be back soon!! Thanks for the concern!! Much love to ALL!! Happy New Year!!

The Beginning

2009-10-23T21:35:00.003-05:00

bright autumn leaves
takes me back
to that cool crisp day
as I watched you
so unaware
etching the perfect portrait
in my mind
of you
and the falling leaves
surrounding you
capturing a permanent

mental image

of being so in love..

Rutger 357 Magnum

2009-10-17T19:21:00.003-05:00

On a beautiful fall day
There was a
Five Gallon Bucket
Filled with water
Sitting in front of a tree

My hands are steady
Looking at the red
Squeeze
1,2,3,4,5,6

On a beautiful fall day
Five Gallon Bucket
Filled with water
Sitting in front of a tree
A tree
with the bark missing in
1,2,3,4,5,6
places.......

Birthday Prayer

2009-10-10T21:05:00.004-05:00

Dear Heavenly Father,
44 years ago today
YOU brought me into this world,
Through the years
YOU have picked me up repeatedly
out of the mud
the pit of mud
that I seem so determined
to keep jumping in to!!

What a loving, forgiving God you are
for someone like me
who is so unworthy of YOUR saving grace!!
I am so blessed from the life you have given me!!!
44 years ago today
I was put here for a purpose
It is high time
I find out just what that purpose is
Please forgive me for the many mistakes
I have made
and the many sins I have committed!!!!
Thank you Lord

for not giving up on me!!!

Thank you
In Jesus name,
AMEN

Autumn

2009-09-28T13:41:00.002-05:00

Waiting
for the
leaves of color
to dance quietly
and the crisp air
to kiss my skin
Knowing
through the viewfinder
I will see
My Girls
framed by
God's Beauty-
Family Fall Road Trip

2009-09-24T10:42:00.000-05:00

deep into my heart

what will you find-

that is my question

2009-09-18T05:47:00.002-05:00

eyes brown as chocolate

blue eyes like the ocean

straight brown hair

curly blonde hair

day

night

I am so in love-

My Two Daughters

2009-09-13T15:51:00.002-05:00

Shedding tears of regrets

feeling so unworthy-

I hear CHILD I am still here!

I still LOVE you

Just let go and I will show you the way....

Just LET GO

2009-09-08T18:28:00.002-05:00

Sitting in a chair
I look at the clock
Early morning
I am in my world
Numb at the moment
When I decide to check the time
Again
It is now late afternoon
I need to move
My mind screams at me
Get up!
I am in my world
I can not make myself move
Again
I check the time
I start to feel panic
Evening
I hear screaming in my head
GET UP!!
As the day goes from light to dark
I want to cry
Everything in my world is heavy
I can not will my arms and legs to move
Darkness has arrived
I get up
I go to bed
Knowing I have to work tomorrow
I have to get up
I have no choice
But in my mind
I am still frozen in my chair...

9882

2009-09-05T12:01:00.000-05:00

Sleepless night with spinning mind
Watching you sleep
Thinking of all the years
I have been beside you
Waiting for the rocking chair and the grand kids......

(Rerun in Celebration of my 27th Anniversary Sept 8)

2009-09-01T05:42:00.003-05:00

IN MY HEART
stands one small sign
CLOSED
due to emotional repair

Nothing

2009-08-29T13:20:00.004-05:00

Entranced she watched you
suffering from a deja vu moment

caught in a endless time
She was mesmerized by memories
haunted by the pain
with images twisting and turning
Insanity waiting impatiently
to consume what little mind she had left
Every ounce of self respect was gone
and the warmth of her tears
brought little comfort to the emptiness inside
She wants to feel
She wants to feel nothing
Absolutely nothing
If only for a little while....

2009-08-22T20:56:00.007-05:00

whisper pink
soft lacy cheek peek

with a preview sneak

making him weak-

Victoria's Secret

2009-08-22T05:29:00.002-05:00

very sexy dare-
emotional pendulum
swaying back and forth

2009-08-20T21:18:00.003-05:00

song plays in my car

bringing tears to my eyes-

unrequited longing

2009-08-19T17:41:00.002-05:00

the brush of his hand

softly touches my arm-

fire in my veins

2009-08-13T21:19:00.002-05:00

with strength of iron

and power of knowledge-

reverse is broken

2009-08-10T05:56:00.002-05:00

morning sound returns

announcing summer's end-

big yellow school bus

The End to a Perfect Summer

2009-08-05T06:18:00.003-05:00

I will always remember

our late night swimming in the pool,

our long 4 wheeler rides in the mountains,

the weekend in a cabin and

fishing on the river,

We played badminton with our grown kids

and laughed at memories of when they were young

We watched movies til early morning hours

and slept in the next day

I will always remember the summer of "09"

and the memories of the summer we met

Long ago...

As each summer passes

Our story ends another chapter of our lives

but we know it is just the end of a chapter

and the beginning of one that is waiting to be written...

2009-08-02T08:31:00.002-05:00

Today is the later on

that he told her back then..

Tomorrow is the now

that he said would no longer happen...

The lady wants to know

BLACK or WHITE

Rollercoaster roll on WITHOUT me

2009-07-30T15:48:00.002-05:00

Have you ever felt like you were on a rollercoaster in life? Just as that rollercoaster starts to slow down and you get ready to get off. Someone hits the fast button and your head slams against the back of the seat. I just want someone to push the stop button and let me off!!

Deja Vu

2009-07-29T09:02:00.003-05:00

I closed the door,

you opened it up..

I locked the door,

you found the key..

I left the door open,

and you slammed it in my face...

I left the door closed,

and you tore it down....

The new door is up

and bolted tight...

You decided to leave it be,

and to leave it be,

and to leave it be....

I relaxed......
then I heard it,
a small knock

and it got louder,

and louder..

I opened the door

and there you stood..

Again

in the doorway of my heart.......

Years Gone By

2009-07-27T08:02:00.004-05:00

A kiss so passionate

that my lips sting for moments.

The racing of my heart so strong

I can hear it.

I can feel your hand

as you run it through my hair.

I can hear your voice

whispering to me.

The look in your eyes,

the heat of your body,

still radiates through me

like lightning in a storm.

After all of this time,

You still take my breath away....

My Best Friend

2009-07-25T07:56:00.002-05:00

You know all of my deep , dark secrets

You know all of my fears and worries

You know all of my likes and dislikes

You understand my moods,

You understand my emotions,

Never does a day go by

that you are not here for me

Never does a day go by,

that I can't cry on your shoulder

You listen with patience and understanding

You support every new adventure

that I take on,

Even though you wonder

why I choose certain things in my life,

or why I do not choose certain things in my life

You have never judged me,
or turned your back on me

YOU are the sister I never had....

2009-07-23T05:42:00.002-05:00

sweetness touches my tongue

feel the burn inside of me-

caramel java

2009-07-22T06:32:00.001-05:00

Summer was my MENTAL get away and got away I did.......But of course when you think you have got where you were going, you come across road construction. The same road you thought was finished....You know the guy, the one with the orange vest, who makes you to take the detour. The detour that sends you in the opposite direction of your destination....Stupid guy, with the stupid orange vest!

2009-07-21T07:12:00.000-05:00

2009-07-19T17:44:00.000-05:00

2009-07-15T16:44:00.002-05:00

Hello Friends,
I am headed to the White River tomorrow for a few days . I plan on doing some trout fishing, swimming and spending quality time with my family. It is absolutely beautiful where we are going. Gorgeous Bluffs all around. Hope to get a lot of good pictures and do a little writing, a lot of relaxation time :) School starts back in a few weeks and I really need this to get mentally prepared for my kiddoes. Just wanted you to know I had not deserted your wonderful stories, photos, and poetry. I will catch up on it all when I get back. Love to each and everyone of you who visit my site and leave your wonderful comments. You are my blogging family who I am so happy to have come in contact with!!!

Hugs and Kisses,
Cindy

2009-07-13T16:03:00.000-05:00

2009-07-11T05:56:00.000-05:00

2009-07-07T04:50:00.000-05:00

2009-07-02T21:43:00.002-05:00

Rise up and feel the sun and the breeze

embrace you

as the sounds of nature

sings a song

Close your eyes and dive into

the cool water

as it kisses your skin

Let the water wash away the tears

and bring healing

to your ...

Broken Heart

2009-06-29T07:22:00.003-05:00

light from the moon

reflects across the water-

night swimming

2009-06-25T08:08:00.002-05:00

eyes meet on a hot, humid day

words are spoken in the present form..

one who listens with emotion

the other hears with regret..

this is the end of-

the unwritten story

2009-06-20T18:45:00.003-05:00

eyes fly open

at the sounds of morning-

the barn dance

2009-06-16T10:06:00.002-05:00

with lips tasting of rain

your touch as powerful as thunder

your breath whispers to me

like wind through the pines

remembering our-

silent storm

2009-06-15T07:51:00.003-05:00

champagne bubbles

dance wildly in the bottle

your image appears

2009-06-12T10:09:00.002-05:00

heart race, mind twirl

body tingle, quick breath

vivid fireworks

you are my -
panic attack