Saturday, October 23, 2010

I am Woman

    Louise  left the front door open as she ran down the street screaming at him to stop!! She sees her shoe bounce off the back glass of his 2001 black Dodge Ram as he turns the corner. Does he not know he is dealing with a xanax taking, menopausal woman?she mutters under her breath.  How friggin difficult is it to get the newspaper in the box.?
    One shoe on , she limps to the corner to pick up her aging pink nike and looks around to see her nosey hateful neighbor looking at her over the top of her bifocals.She seriously thinks about giving her the finger, but thinks twice, and then goes ahead and does it anyway. Ha!Ha! take that you old bat!! and looks at the shocked looked on Mrs.Wimble's face. Smiles to herself.  
   Entering her house she rushes to answer the ringing phone.
Hello.....hello..... HELLOOO!!!! 
 This is United Grocers of the Grocery World, would you like to take our survey?
 Gimme a break, like I have nothing better to do.
 NO!!  I would NOT like to take your survey!! I do not buy groceries I live on fast food!!!she growls and hangs up the phone.

   Thelma closes her front door as she walks to pick up her newspaper off the ground. She waves and smiles at the man in the 2001 Black Dodge Ram. Silently wishing he would get the paper in the box.
  She sees Mrs. Wimble glaring at her over the top of her bifocals. She is her hateful, nosey neighbor who can never mind her own business. She waves and smiles at Mrs. Wimble, who in return turns her back and walks away.
Entering her house she rushes to answer her ringing phone..
Hello...hello....Is anyone there?
This is United Grocers of the Grocery World, would you like to take our survey?
 Of course she says..sighing to herself, I have nothing else better to do...

I am a Thelma on the outside, and a Louise on the inside. Somedays I am a Thelma and Louise rolled all up into one :)


  1. Thelma and Louise... huh? All in one?
    __I think all of us are >bi-polar< in our own way, and only to that... can I relate.

    Nicely posed and written into understanding Cindy, putting a certain comedy into that discomforting time. _m

  2. ha. nice movie...and fun play through your story...nice job doing it in present tense as well...too many settle for past...bah. smiles.

    i think i can take on both at times...been a while since i threw a shoe though...i would wave at the neighbor

  3. We'll just call you Louma. hee.

  4. OOOOO I can so relate, love this little story ll

  5. sounds somehow... slightly.... familiar...smiles..

  6. Ha! Don't we all have days when we just want to give the world the finger? I am brave about hanging up on solicitors, but would probably be waving to the nasty neighbour with muttered mumblings under my breath. Nice piece :)

  7. I've never known a woman who wasn't Thelma and Louise (or Jekyll and Hyde--ha ha). Usually they're Louise to me, and Thelma to everyone else they know!

  8. lol! I think we've all got a bit of a split personality and you've expressed it perfectly here.

    I hate hate hate those darned phone calls! (that part of my personality never wavers - lol)


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