Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year to all my blog buddies!!! May you have all your dreams come true in 2011...Much Love, Cindy

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Todays project , burprag and onesie with i on the butt, actually I think it will take up her whole back, I have a lot to learn :)
Posted by Picasa

Monday, December 20, 2010

Nanny Gone crazy

Posted by Picasa I have went baby crazy and have neglected my blog and my wonderful readers and your posts. I am off work for Christmas break so hopefully I can catch up on my reading. I hope everyone is having wonderful holidays..I painted this for baby IJ and a few other things I will post. I  have learned to crochet, been making tutus and hairbows, and just got an early present from my hubby a sewing machine..So I am completely embracing my nanny to be moments!!! I know you men are just thrilled to death with all of this :) I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas..Much Love, Cindy

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Update on my first unborn grandbaby... Its a GIRL...and her name is Isabel Jade....I just can not wait!!!!

Monday, November 22, 2010

inhale (poetry potluck)

 the naked limbs
of the old oak trees
hovers over
 the leaf blanket
covering my backyard

birds fluttering
around the feeder
taking on a fill
waiting on  the rain to set in

i watch out the window
loving the peace
that is embracing my soul

I inhale this moment
with eyes closed
head bowed
I give Thanks
My life

Happy Thansksgiving to All

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Coming up Rainbows

I asked him
what color is Minnie's dress going to be?
rainbow he replied to me
I asked him
what color is the train going to be?
rainbow he replied to me
I asked him
what colors would you like for crafts today?
I know ..rainbow is what he will say
I smile at this handsome young man
as he asks "Mrs. Brown"
what can I do?
I call his name and ask
'What would you like to do? "
Draw pictures he says to me
and I nod my head yes
I know
 before I go to his desk
what I will see
his markers lined up
the way he sees
his rainbow
To myself I think
God gave him
the most wonderful gift
that in his world
everything is the color of

I know most of my readers know that I work in Special Education and from time to time I write about my experiences. This young man is 15 and I do not like to play favorites but Man alive do I LOVE this kid!! He is autistic and he teaches me something everyday I am with him!! He loves to draw and everything he draws is bright colors and rainbow colors. He draws several things and some of the same things several times. Sometimes they will be so identical, if I did not know better I would swear he was tracing them off of his original. Everything he does has to be in a certain order which is common in autism, but he fascinates me so much , he is an incredibly brilliant kid that I would love to be able to see what he sees in his mind. He has fantastic parents who involve him in everything possible and I know that he gets opportunities so many special needs kids do not get and I wish they had. Children with autism sometimes have difficulty with socialization, today this child took a santa hat that was on his head , he took it off and went and put it on the male teachers head and laughed, really laughed. It was the greatest moment!! He is a gift from God to me and one of the reasons I love my job so much. I learn so much from him , a lot more than he learns from me.
Today he was my rainbow!!!!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

No words dot dot dot

no words come to me
as I read the many talented
and regret the education
I did not pursue...
I feel ignorance when no words come to me
and I read comments I do not understand
I write from my heart which holds so much love
and I write from my mind with its unlimited thoughts
but limited vocabulary...
no words come to me
when I have so much weighing on my soul
frustration takes over and I just sit
looking at the blank screen
waiting for the words to come to me...

Monday, November 8, 2010

cool autumn night
 wrapped in your arms
drinking hot cocoa
by the wood fire
watching favorite tv shows 
snuggled on the couch
are my first and only
true love

Saturday, November 6, 2010

only way

written with shakey hands,
the number of the goal in mind,
no food today ...
small box from the freezer at
5 o'clock.....
 devouring the brain cells,
 lack of nutrients,
the mistake is made,
the candy bar was consumed
in 30.6 seconds....
 trying to grasp
at the limbs on the way down
to gain control
before the binge
tooo late
screwed up this day
start again Monday....
the binge ,
      the binge ,
           the binge
lethargic, sick, stuck in the recliner
with goals melting
like ice cream in the sun....
salt swimming
to the extremities
causing wedding band
to stretch the golden limits..
to gain control
to reach the goal
one time a day
the only way
is one time a day...

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Name Game

Let me see...
nanny,mammy,granny B
mee-maw, maw-maw, mam-maw, GiGi
grandma, gramma,  nana, gmaw, nonna C
oh whoever will I be ?

as you can tell I am pretty excited about this first gbaby
does anyone have any fun or different grandma names??

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

 Through the foggy woods
David ran
deeper and deeper
itno the forest
David ran
howling sounds
and eerie screams
David ran
and ran
it was Halloween night
moon shining bright
David ran
the air turned cold
he was full of fright
David ran
reached out
and snatched
David up
into it's
David fainted!!
David was never seen or heard from again!!!
Happy Halloween!!!

Monday, October 25, 2010

here we meet again
i fall for you-
autumn lovers

Saturday, October 23, 2010

I am Woman

    Louise  left the front door open as she ran down the street screaming at him to stop!! She sees her shoe bounce off the back glass of his 2001 black Dodge Ram as he turns the corner. Does he not know he is dealing with a xanax taking, menopausal woman?she mutters under her breath.  How friggin difficult is it to get the newspaper in the box.?
    One shoe on , she limps to the corner to pick up her aging pink nike and looks around to see her nosey hateful neighbor looking at her over the top of her bifocals.She seriously thinks about giving her the finger, but thinks twice, and then goes ahead and does it anyway. Ha!Ha! take that you old bat!! and looks at the shocked looked on Mrs.Wimble's face. Smiles to herself.  
   Entering her house she rushes to answer the ringing phone.
Hello.....hello..... HELLOOO!!!! 
 This is United Grocers of the Grocery World, would you like to take our survey?
 Gimme a break, like I have nothing better to do.
 NO!!  I would NOT like to take your survey!! I do not buy groceries I live on fast food!!!she growls and hangs up the phone.

   Thelma closes her front door as she walks to pick up her newspaper off the ground. She waves and smiles at the man in the 2001 Black Dodge Ram. Silently wishing he would get the paper in the box.
  She sees Mrs. Wimble glaring at her over the top of her bifocals. She is her hateful, nosey neighbor who can never mind her own business. She waves and smiles at Mrs. Wimble, who in return turns her back and walks away.
Entering her house she rushes to answer her ringing phone..
Hello...hello....Is anyone there?
This is United Grocers of the Grocery World, would you like to take our survey?
 Of course she says..sighing to herself, I have nothing else better to do...

I am a Thelma on the outside, and a Louise on the inside. Somedays I am a Thelma and Louise rolled all up into one :)

Thursday, October 21, 2010


you will feel
the firestorm
that once
 through your blood,
making you
as the sound of your heart
beat like a
 d r u m
you will feel the matchstrike
as the touch of your skin
 causing the electric
current to
making your toes curl
in complete
you will feel this
again and again

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Baby Love

lookin in these eyes
memories flood my soul
of your momma
so many years ago
lookin in these eyes
I see
her sweet little face
bringing precious memories to me
lookin in these eyes
I begin to smile
all awhile
 the first time
I knew
 true baby love
Your momma
My very first neice...

Monday, October 11, 2010


On the outside of the box, she was a complete scene,
a peaceful waterfall on a beautiful sunny day,
but on the inside, the puzzle peices had been lost,
broken, the corner pieces gone, making the picture incomplete..
Her mind was jumbled with mass confusion,
thoughts twisting and untwisting like broken pretzels,
crumbs in the bottom of the bag, waiting to be thrown away..
She absorbed every emotion, every memory
as her brain soaked up all the words in her thoughts,
as her thoughts soaked up all the words in her brain..
She stumbled, she just stumbled...


Saturday, October 9, 2010

My Bullet List

  1. only child
  2. only grandchild
  3. first date with hubby June 11,1982
  4. married Sept.8, 1982
  5. no I was not pregnant
  6. married @ 16
  7. married 28 yrs
  8. first daughter at 18
  9. she weighed 10 lbs and 7 ounces
  10. no I did not have her naturally, was by csection
  11. she is now 26
  12. 5ft 8
  13.  and married
  14.  and carrying my first grandbaby :) :) :)
  15. second daughter at 21
  16. she weighed 7lbs. and 9 1/2 ounces
  17. she is now 23
  18. she is 6ft.1in
  19. yes she played basketball
  20. I am 5 ft 4 in
  21. I have lived in 5 homes my entire life
  22. 2 with my parents
  23. 3 with my husband
  24. all 5 have been within 10 miles of each other
  25. I have had 5 jobs
  26. 4 of them have been with kids
  27. I work in Special Education
  28. I know sign language
  29. I have had 2 csections, 1 hysterectomy (dont think2 is possible) one foot surgery
  30. the foot surgery sucked
  31. need another one on the other foot
  32. I am dragging my heels about that one
  33. haha! that was lame I know
  34. My hubby and I have cattle, dogs, chickens, horses, rabbits, turkeys, cat
  35. in the past we have had a pet deer, pet raccoons, peacocks, doves, potbellied pigs,donkeys, tumbling pigeons..iquana, parakeets, quinea pigs....i am probably forgetting something
  36. my favorite color is red
  37. I also love pink
  38. I drive a red mustang
  39. I love clothes!!!
  40. I love to shop!!!
  41. My favorite things to do are simple
  42. Reading....all kinds of books, but my faves are murder, murder, murder
  43. I love movies, all types of movies, not to much into science fiction, I like suspense and murder movies the best.
  44. I know 754 ways to kill someone without getting caught!!! haha..just joking
  45. I love to write, mainly about love and relationships, would love to pursue some things for kids
  46. I would like to learn to write better
  47. I love to take pictures
  48. I wish I had pursued a side career in photography
  49. I also love to draw and to paint
  50. I do not have a bit of talent in any of the above things I love to do
  51. I am learning to crochet, making a blanket for my gbaby to be
  52. When I turned 40... something happened to my somehwat normal brain and nothing has been the same since. Did not cope well with that number!!!
  53. I have learned more from the kids in my special education class than I have ever learned from anyone. They teach me something new each day!! I am so fortunate that this is the path that was chosen for me.
  54. I would love to write about the the things that are really in my head. But am scared too.
  55. I have only been out of the country once and that was Mexico..
  56. God has blessed me with so much that I have been so undeserving of!!!! Our God is an awesome God!!
  57. As of today I have been alive 44 years and 364 days.....
  58. I would love to read a bullet list about each of you :))))))

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


down in the field
where the cornstalks lay
I went for a ride
on a trailer full of hay
full of fear
full of fright
silvery moon
on a cold fall night
deep in the shadows
 I did see
something horrifying
 looking at me
hair that is snarled
hands that are gnarled
pointed hat
big black cat
where is
 the broomstick at?
I heard the screams
I heard the shout
Someone watch me
I am fixing to jump out
down in the field
where the cornstalks lay
I left my ride
on the trailer full of hay
last thing
they did see,
was that ugly old witch
chasing Me!!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


she was driving the old pick up
down the long dirt road
listening to her favorite country song,
turning and crossing the cattleguard
she heard the water and ice sloshing around
in the waterjug . ....
heading out across the pasture
she spotted the cows and their calves
drinking from the vanishing pond.....
it was hot that day
triple digits
she stopped, rolled the windows down
and inhaled the warm air and the smell
of freshly cut hay....
she sat quietly, closed her eyes,
breathing in her life...
the  increasing sound of the tractor
brought her back
and she saw him
sitting high
on the red Massey
sweat poured from his face
as he released the last bale of hay....
he smiled when he saw her
carrying him a drink of water...
she smiled back at her soulmate,
the father to her girls, the grandpa to be....
she smiled back at her
 drink of water.....

Monday, September 27, 2010


she bared,
her soul,
for many years,
with so many words,
she felt so,
surrounded by people
who loved her..
but the feeling of
claimed her,
her mind,
and her heart...
so many words
to say,
so many meanings
all playing,
hide and seek...
she knows
that baring her soul
is now
now they ask for her
to speak,
to share,
her innermost thoughts
but she refrains,
doing so...
there comes a time
that it is,
too late.....

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Friday, September 24, 2010

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Claim Your Award

 Thanks Ashley

1. Accept the award. Post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link.

2. Pay it forward to bloggers that you have discovered.

3. Contact those blog owners and let them know they've been chosen.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

unreasoned passion
unrestrained craving
consuming desire
she wakens at midnight

Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Kiss

HE kisses her goodbye
as she leaves for work
she kisses him goodbye
as he leaves for work
going in different directions...

electrical current in the air
sparks flying
smoldering heat
eyes locked
Good Morning
how are you?
HE kisses her...

smoldering heat
sparks flying
electrical current in the air
eyes locked
how are you?
he kisses her...

Monday, September 13, 2010

Thrill of the flashing red light

She sat and glared at it...
The pink rectangle...
She turned it over...
Stop looking at it...
Give it ten minutes.....
Turn it back over...
Still no red light...
Dang it...

She took it in another room....
Go to the bathroom...
Get a Diet Coke...
Watch a little Lifetime...
Wait twenty minutes...
Stop thinking about it..

She goes back to the room..
Red light is flashing...
Could it be??
Types the password..
Whirls the trackball..
To the right..
Sees the name...
Sees the arrows ..
in the corner..
another name..
has just appeared..

She is obsessed....
with texting..
on her..

Saturday, September 11, 2010

I work in Special Education and have a few times in the past, talked about Special Olympics or have written about my experiences. Today our Area put on a Family Fun Day for the athletes and their families. I love to observe and photograph these kids and adults. They love unconditionally , they can teach you so much about yourself and love. I am always learning from them. These two are adult athletes I see at several events every year. This young lady, always tells me that this young man is her boyfriend. There is a good 20 years difference in their age. But age means nothing to them and it never fails that every time I see her she lets me know he is her boyfriend. I asked them if I could go get my camera and take their picture and they were happy to oblige. As soon as they saw I had the camera this was there instant pose, I never had to say a word. It was a wonderful day!!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Sitting in the old well house
it waited and waited

for years and years had went by
the back side was lower on one side
and some parts were missing
yet it waited and waited

there were signs of rust
and some paint was needed
for years and years had come and gone
it was in the back hidden
it waited and waited

finally the day had come
new tires made it level again
fresh new paint made it shine
all the missing pieces made it whole
it waited and waited

once it was loved by a little girl
all those years ago
but still it waited and waited

the little girl was all grown now
to big to ride
but still it waited and waited

for the little one to arrive
a few years would have to past by
but it would wait and wait

for the little one
whose mom it once belonged
to be born in April
and to wait and grow
and grow
The Little Red Tricycle

Monday, September 6, 2010

Teardrop in Her Coffee

He walks into the room, eyes searching for her. She stands with her back to him, coffee in hand, so unaware of his presence.

She hears him enter the room, but does not want him to have the satisfaction that she is aware he is watching her. She feels the heat from his eyes as they bore through her to the innermost depth of her being.

He knows that if he touches her she will respond, she will come to him with open arms. He stands waiting , wanting to go to her. He wants to feel the blood flowing through her as her heart speeds with emotion and need. With each step closer, he senses that she is now aware of his presence. He smells the scent of her perfume and he stops and waits.

With each step she can feel him closing in on her, her heart begins to race, her breath quickens. She waits for the touch, wanting to turn and rush into his arms..She wants to feel the fire as she once felt from his strong and gentle hands. She waits...

He leans over and kisses her on the top of her head. He pulls her in close to him. She never lets go of the coffee cup. She never looks up at him. She just plainly says " You know you have to do the right thing " He knew he had to do the right thing and he kissed her hair one more time like she loved for him to do. Then he turned and walked out the door.

She looks down at her cup as one single teardrop drips into her coffee.......

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

a goal in mind
willpower equals-

Or does it? Is willpower stronger than determination or determination stronger than willpower? Are they the same?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Sunday, June 13, 2010

rain on the flowers
the sun breaks through-
cracked flower pot

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Nothing poetic about this!. Nothing profound! Nothing sweet!!! Life just SUCKS at the moment!! I needed somewhere to shout it and I chose here!! So I am shouting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIFE SUCKS!! Now that is a little better!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Saturday, April 24, 2010

from my HEART

I have 2 beautiful daughters!! Ashley is 26 and Jodi is 22. I witnessed some things this weekend with my girls. Ashley and her husband Jt and I went to a Seventh Day Slumber concert Saturday night. The concert had a booth for children living in poverty overseas and Ashley signed up to help this beautiful little guy in El Salavador named Hector, she really had no idea how much that warmed her mother's heart. The compassion and love that she and her husband showed for a child that they had never met..........  My youngest daughter waivers( caretaker ) for a 10 yr old autistic child. Jodi has been taking care of  her for several months now. I watched Jodi with Lynlee today. Jodi loves this little girl as much as if she were her own. The excitement I see in Jodi's face when Lynlee accomplishes something new or how I see when she lights up from Lynlee's laughter also warms my heart. The love and trust that Lynlee feels for Jodi is evident in her little face..My 2 girls making the difference in 2 children's lives in total different ways but both equally as important....... I was a very young parent, and my parenting skills were not the greatest. The one thing I did have for them was uncondtional love. My love for them is so strong and I Thank My Heavenly Father for the gift He gave me  in those 2 girls. I looked at them this weekend and I decided I just might have done a few things right :)

Sunday, April 18, 2010

my neck
back to the place of secrecy
your lips....
my ear
warms the memory
your breath.....
I taste
the scent of your shirt
my skin.....

Friday, April 9, 2010

Friday, April 2, 2010

through the darkness
with eyes closed and head bowed
 20/20 vision.......

Tuesday, March 16, 2010 Check out my daughters new blog :)

Friday, March 12, 2010

peace within my soul
freedom from above the clouds
I am FORGIVEN.....

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

colors so vibrant
the future will behold
rainbow in my heart

Monday, January 11, 2010

Little Luke

Little Luke sat in the corner
thinking about what he had done...
Fed Emma all of his oatmeal
and breakfast he had none...

Emma was his best friend
A special dog was she...
Emma had only 3 legs
and that you can plainly see...
Little Luke thought Emma
needed oatmeal more than he...

Little Luke told his mommy
I am sorry for what I,ve done...
I fed Emma my oatmeal
because breakfast she had none...

Little Luke's mommy
says Honey I know what we can do...
I will cook oatmeal everyday
for Emma and you too...
Because I love Emma,
and most of all I LOVE YOU!

This was my attempt at kids stuff on another blog.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Hello, Hope to be back soon!! Thanks for the concern!! Much love to ALL!! Happy New Year!!