Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I am taking things from a poem I wrote earlier and trying my hand at these various forms of poetry....Let me know what you think..Thanks to all for your input and help, I enjoy it so much.....




rain on thirsty soil
water collects, puddles form
necessary tears.
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6 comments:

  1. Devika JyothiTuesday, April 21, 2009

    Cindy,

    If I may make a revision,

    Rain on thirsty soil,
    forming puddles -
    necessary tears

    but I have a doubt in equating puddles with tears...the imagery of rain suggests tears rolling,

    puddles that collect water can't signify tears of the earth because the water collected is apparently from the clouds and not from the depths of the soil,

    these are my thoughts, I would wish to read comments by others on this :)

    wishes,
    devika

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  2. J. Andrew LockhartTuesday, April 21, 2009

    I really do like this (not just saying that :) - even after all I just wrote about "less" than 5-7-5. ha!
    there are times, though, that the words perfectly fit the syllable rule. this was that case, I guess. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Devika JyothiTuesday, April 21, 2009

    Cindy,

    Andrew's comment gives me idea about working with syllables, and your blog is becoming a learning place for me, too, Cindy

    thanks Cindy and Andrew :)

    wishes,
    devika

    ReplyDelete
  4. CindybrownWednesday, April 22, 2009

    Thanks to both of you for the input!! It means so much to me. I am a lot about human emotion and I went for this with the nature part of it and the emotional part as well............... I did count out the syllables, but I am SO HAPPY to know that I do not have to get the syllables right everytime............ We have cattle and bail hay in flat land, we depend on the right amount of rain for our progress. When it does rain there it does collect quickly and I used the tears as a reference for being necessary tying it into the human emotion. From the emotional side,Have you ever went thru something that you needed to just let go and cry and then when you finally do it turns into a down pour of tears ? I may not have ever made a puddle but have soaked up some kleenexs HA! I hope all of that makes sense!! I always want your honest opinion and value it so much!! Love to both of you!!!!

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  5. Devika JyothiWednesday, April 22, 2009

    Nice to your response, Cindy
    It happens with me, Cindy...but I am not one very used to crying...more towards holding it, and then when it rains i find myself pouring alongwith...and at that time I may not have any specific reason...but I cry like hell! :)

    Love, always
    devika

    ReplyDelete
  6. CindybrownThursday, April 23, 2009

    Amen sister!! Just being a woman is tough!!!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your comments, they mean so much to me!!

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