It is the first thing I think of when I wake up
and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep
It is in my dreams, in my mind, in my heart..
The world is passing by me as I am in my own world
not hearing, not seeing, just thinking....
I can not get away because it is everywhere I look...
Wondering how to break the cycle of my
Unhealthy Obsession.....
I just wonder...does this truly reflect what you are feeling now, or are you projecting what others may feel. I certainly identify with it. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression almost 30 years ago. The first ten years were a struggle, juggling medications, but I'm happy to say(yes happy), that I have been doing really well for the last 15 years, thanks to an excellent doctor and good medication. But the thought is always there ready in my mind. But when it comes I just face it like it is -- a chemical in my body that refuses to do what it should -- a bit like diabetes.
ReplyDeleteIt truly reflected what I was feeling. I also suffer with depression and anxiety. I have been on meds for 3 yrs. or so. Most of the time I do ok, but I have days. It is too early on this morning to see yet ha! I have a very wonderful family and a very blessed life. It frustrates me to feel this way when I have absolutely no reason at all! Thank you so much for sharing your story with me!!
ReplyDeleteSometimes the inside of us is crying and shouting. Every now and then these cries and tears coagulate to letters, words and sentences. Mostly these don't become literature. Anyway - verse like yours help.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes
Ralf
I know how it feels...I think you are doing it just right, Cindy...this sharing could definitely bring in a change....I was one who was always reluctant to share my state of mind...and it had its toll on me...early in my twenties...but since I started blogging, though there had been days I would feel sad for no specific reason, the exchanges (most times its me doing all the talking :))have always helped me regain myself fast...and now meeting my blog-friends is an obsession to me, and I don't want to break it :))
ReplyDeleteThis is a way...and haiku -- helping you focus on a moment -- can definitely bring in a change....its a way to peaceful life as I see it :)
love, always
devika
I know this place Cindy, I live it every day of my life. Being depress and depression is two different things ... one can get over being depressed, but depression is something else all together. What I have learned to do is accept it and move past it whenever I can .. Some folks take medicine, as it's suppose to be a chemical imbalance, but medicine doesn't work for me because my body rejects it.
ReplyDeleteThe one reason I took up writing is to help me work out things. Trying to find something to focus my thoughts on . Thanks to you all for your comments..
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is best
ReplyDeleteTo be in locked that dream,
Watching the world
Is depression in itself.
And in keeping the thoughts wandering
The avoidance of the world
Can be up-lifting.
This daily therapy.
Writing.
_m
Well I never really knew about depression
ReplyDeleteI was caught in a web of panic, anxiety, chemical imbalance and agoraphobia. Then because I believe I was strong enough to withstand it without medicfation, I of course, BROKE. So broke there ain't no fixing. so finallay I took meds that fixed my imbalance enough that I could breathe, then I learned all about depression. Once you break you stay broken, so what to do. You write, first for others so that they don't feel so alone, than for you 'cause it gives you a reason to find beauty in life. I broke and I can't get fix. My lifelines: writing, blogging,photography, coffee, oh yeah, and this undying sense of humour...hang in there dear girl, you are never alone x
It is good you can (hopefully) write your way out of some of the depression - and a reminder for us to know others may suffer in ways we don't. Judging by the comments you are not alone Cindy. One day at a time....one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteI love you all!! Thanks so much for sharing your stories!! Lorraine I am right there with you!!
ReplyDelete