Saturday, November 6, 2010

only way

written with shakey hands,
the number of the goal in mind,
no food today ...
small box from the freezer at
5 o'clock.....
 devouring the brain cells,
 lack of nutrients,
the mistake is made,
the candy bar was consumed
in 30.6 seconds....
 trying to grasp
at the limbs on the way down
to gain control
before the binge
tooo late
screwed up this day
start again Monday....
the binge ,
      the binge ,
           the binge
lethargic, sick, stuck in the recliner
with goals melting
like ice cream in the sun....
salt swimming
to the extremities
causing wedding band
to stretch the golden limits..
to gain control
to reach the goal
one time a day
the only way
is one time a day...


  1. I want to be clear I do not have an eating disorder but I do have dieting issues that I have struggled with ever since my first child was born almost 27 years ago, it is an ongoing battle!!! This is not something you will see me discuss very often, it is not something I like to talk about, but felt maybe if i did write some about it,it might help. I know there are millions of people with eating disorders and even though I might not know exactly how they suffer I can relate in some ways!! This is a very real problem which I think lots of women battle.

  2. Oh, Cindy, it's got to be one of the hardest struggles...there are many things we can do without, but food isn't one of them. It must make the struggle excrutiating..and the sense of failure when one indulges too much must be overwhelming. You captured that feeling so well in your poem. I think there are lots of men, too, who could relate.

  3. I dig Cindy, when I'm very frustrated (often the case) I splurge like crazy..but I found that returning to my diet f 85% veg and fruit and only dark chocolate which I'm not that fond of, but it fills me up and stopsme from going all is a battle that sometimes seems 'insurmontable' just know that everyone is in the same boat except actors who eat so little that it's not healthy, look around you, everyone is the same...

  4. i have read about this...but i don't know much about eating disorders -- was wondering, until i read your note-- do what is needed, and take care, Cindy :)


  5. i hear you...i felt that fall...dieting eating one time a day really healthy?

  6. i used to have an eating disorder when i was a teenager...not at all easy
    glad i found my balance now. as i do lots of sports, eating is not a problem

  7. u r super creative.
    way to go.
    brilliant work.
    keep it up.


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