Life as I now know it..

Well it has been awhile since I have posted..Isabel is beautiful, growing like a weed!!! She is just the most wonderful little girl ever!!! August I started feeling bad, with some aches and pains, fatigue..etc..etc..etc..To make a long story short, I have recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia..so they think....., ruling out some other things, but this is what the rheumatologist feels it is..To be honest with you it just sucks!!! I dont know if what I am going thru is the worst or the fear of the unknown!!! I have read and read other peoples stories and it is not what I want..lol..I am sure it is not what they want either..But I need positive reinforcement!!! I want to be postive..just trying to learn to cope..Life as I now know it!!! Hope all is well with everyone..Happy Holidays!!!

HOdoubleT!!!!!!

We are on our 22 second day in a roll for over 100 degree temps...we have had 30 out of 33 days of over 100 here in Arkansas!!!! Been days since we have had rain!!!! Miserable!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope everyone else is doing well in their neck of the country!!! Much love, Cindy

first laugh

makes music in my soul-

Baby Isabel

Rainy Day Photo Shoot....By Nanny

As she sits in the rocking chair

she rocks with an intensity

that of course leads no where

In her utterly

 f

  r

a

    g

i

      l

e

 state

anxiety flows through her like a muddy river

 she waits 

and waits

 for the quaking

in her veins to cease

Nerves are as s.h.a.tt.e.r.ed
as the vintage wine bottle

that lays at her feet

Her heart soars with love and contentment

that NO words can describe

BUT

                                                             Her mind is a restless wind

which can not be contained

mangled,uprooted

years of history gone-

tree dominoes

the tiny foundation

of our next generation-

sweet baby feet

fire in the wind

uncontrollable heat-

doused by tears

in my heart
something was missing
now love overflows
into a pool
of completion
Sweet Baby-
ISABEL

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=o.50552718905

Well our little Isabel had to spend 10 days in the NICU..So it has been a tough week, she had 9 different IVs ...Poor baby has been stuck way too much!!! She finally got to come home last night..She is well and beautiful and I am loving being a granny!! Devika thank you for checking on me due to the weather..Fortunately we were spared the horrible tornadoes in my area, but a lot of people have been hit and lots of lives lost!! Isabel is 11 days old today and 9 of those 11 days it has rained, we have had severe flooding in our area, even the local wal-mart flooded and was shut down for a few days..Several stormy days and today it is even cold!! It is May and I am sitting in sweats with the heater running!! But all in all life is good!!! Hope everyone is well!!! Much Love, Cindy

Isabel Jade Patillo 9lbs 11oz 21 inches long April 21, 2011

Official Due Date

Still waiting on the grandbaby!!!! This has been the longest month!!! It feels like she is never going to get here!! Ashley goes back to the dr on Wednesday if she doe not go into labor before then!! She is miserable!!! Hopefully by the end of the week I will have baby pics!

Update

Hello Everyone!!! Sorry it has been awhile!! Hopefully I will get back to it soon..Devika, thank you so much for checking on me!!! My daughter is 2 weeks away from due date and we are all patiently awaiting the arrival of ISABEL JADE...She has a nursery at my house and a nursery at her own home and more baby items than you can possibly imagine..We just need the baby..My daughter had an ultrasound 2 weeks ago and they were estimating Isabel was already over 8lbs..they gain half a lb a week..So our little one might not be so little:) I have a picture on my phone of her chubby little hand and it makes my heart do flip flops everytime I see it..So ready to touch her!!! Life is good!!!! Hope everyone is well!!!! Much love!!!! Cindy

Snow no more!!!

Well I work in special ed as you know and today was the 10th snow day. Since I came back from Christmas break, we have had 2 full weeks..I had plans to keep my grandbaby in June, so my daughter can go back to work from maternity leave in June, as of now we  are up to June 10th..Northwest Arkansas received record breaking temps and snow levels, reaching -21 and over 2 feet of snow..We have had 7 inches and 0 temps...All of this is not normal for Arkansa..Normally 3 inches of snow and we think we are having a blizzard..Next week temps are suppose to reach 70s... CRAZY!!!! The one thing I have accomplished is sewing projects for baby Isabel..She will be here in 9 weeks!!! So excited...Hope everyone is well!!!!Much love, Cindy

excess speed
my life
days become weeks,
weeks become months,
months turn into years etc.etc.
look back
memories so clear
then the things forgotten.....
mom??
do you remember?????
No I do not
no matter how hard I try
I don't recall
times in my life I have lost
but my children
haven't.....
not yet
45 and still trying to figure out
who I am
and what I want to be when I grow up....